Monday, 29 December 2014

Oh, why didn't you TELL me! (when telling doesn't work)

One of my favourite young people to work with is a young girl with autism who, although able to say many things, usually gets by through non-verbal means. She has taught me a lot over the past few years. Although at times challenging, the rewards have been plentiful.
One thing that has struck me on more than one occasion is how she learns what to do - and what not to do. Let me tell you two short stories:
One day we were at home and the kitchen was locked. She really wanted to go into that kitchen, but no-one else was around and we both didn't know the code for the door. It started off as just a little irritating, but in time things escalated. My hand was taken to the lock and I entered numerous combinations of numbers - none of which worked. The tension mounted, feet stamped, vocalisations got louder and more intense. Having exhausted all other strategies - distraction, ignoring, reducing sensory input - I decided to join in. I stamped my feet, screamed and jabbed at the numbers, shouting 'I want to go in the kitchen!!!' .... there was a pause, and with a small smile, she looked at me. Then, clear as day 'I want a drink'. Wow!
The second occasion was a day when the slightest thing seemed to be the cause of major upset. It's possible that she was unwell but not able to say, so there were frequent unhappy faces and noises and unconvincing cries. I tried saying things like, 'It's ok', or 'what's the matter?' but nothing helped. However, when I was face to face I tried copying the facial expression and sounds. Again, this did the trick. She stopped, looking very intently and then grinned.
When we know the auditory channel so easily gets blocked, let's try to use the visual channel instead. Mirroring back someone's feelings tells them that we understand and gives them a glimmer of insight into another person's perspective. It might not work for everyone, but it worth a try. Visit my website to find out more about my work.

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