Oh, why didn't you TELL me! (when telling doesn't work)

One of my favourite young people to work with is a young girl with autism who, although able to say many things, usually gets by through non-verbal means. She has taught me a lot over the past few years. Although at times challenging, the rewards have been plentiful.
One thing that has struck me on more than one occasion is how she learns what to do - and what not to do. Let me tell you two short stories:
One day we were at home and the kitchen was locked. She really wanted to go into that kitchen, but no-one else was around and we both didn't know the code for the door. It started off as just a little irritating, but in time things escalated. My hand was taken to the lock and I entered numerous combinations of numbers - none of which worked. The tension mounted, feet stamped, vocalisations got louder and more intense. Having exhausted all other strategies - distraction, ignoring, reducing sensory input - I decided to join in. I stamped my feet, screamed and jabbed at the numbers, shouting 'I want to go in the kitchen!!!' .... there was a pause, and with a small smile, she looked at me. Then, clear as day 'I want a drink'. Wow!
The second occasion was a day when the slightest thing seemed to be the cause of major upset. It's possible that she was unwell but not able to say, so there were frequent unhappy faces and noises and unconvincing cries. I tried saying things like, 'It's ok', or 'what's the matter?' but nothing helped. However, when I was face to face I tried copying the facial expression and sounds. Again, this did the trick. She stopped, looking very intently and then grinned.
When we know the auditory channel so easily gets blocked, let's try to use the visual channel instead. Mirroring back someone's feelings tells them that we understand and gives them a glimmer of insight into another person's perspective. It might not work for everyone, but it worth a try. Visit my website to find out more about my work.

To prepare or not to prepare: that is the question!

This is a debate that has aired in a number of places recently and it has inspired to me share it with you, as I think it is something that comes up quite a lot in the world of autism. So often we are told that we need to prepare people who are on the spectrum for what is going to happen; particularly if there is going to be a change to the usual routine or a big event looming. We can go to town (in a manner of speaking) preparing social stories, putting together photo albums, using role play and good old chat about the change, giving opportunities for questions and discussing feelings.

But for some people on the spectrum this seems to make them more anxious. They have far too many questions for us to possibly answer. So what at first seems like a kind and indeed the right thing to do ends up being an opened can of worms. In fact they may then do all they can to avoid the new event. Perhaps 'surprise' might be a better option and, hey, they may even enjoy it. You could provide a social script at the time of the event just in case.

What are your experiences? Get in touch via Twitter @KarenMTherapies or send me an email to admin@karenmasseytherapies.com and let's discuss this further. I do believe, like anything else, each individual is different and careful consideration of past experiences is really important so that life is as smooth and happy as it can be.